Taking a Break... Kind Of

It was break from some things, but not others.
Last weekend, I got a break, mostly, from worldliness. The setting of RUF Fall Conference presented an opportunity to press pause on the worries and distractions of life and focus on knowing God and fellowshiping with His people. After a quick 3-day school week, it was off to Chicago and a weekend filled with corporate visits. I got to take a break from the worries and stresses of work and study- but not from worldliness and sin.
It was a very fun and entertaining trip, don't get me wrong. Tripping to a beautiful city, staying in a nice hotel, visiting some exceptional work environments, and breaking off to sneak in a little sight seeing was just the break I needed. But along with that came some struggles. Suffice it to say, I felt alone in my pursuit of godliness this weekend. Normally, I have friends at Mizzou who face similar struggles in life, and I can battle through those struggles with them. But in Chicago, with a group of 24 other students (none of whom know Christ, I'm fairly confident in saying), it's quite difficult. Expressing frustration, putting others first (or not), or experiencing enjoyment- there seemed to be somewhat of a lopsided dichotomy between two lifestyles this weekend. The 25 of us are supposed to be some of the hardest working, exemplary students and people in the Mizzou School of Business. I saw students act unbecoming of this expectation on multiple occasions.
The temptation to join them was strong. The (empty) promise of satisfaction and the lack of accountability made it a very hard decision.
But I have to choose to find my satisfaction in Christ, not in worldly methods or habits. Christ calls me to become more like Him, not more like others or what they want me to be. It all comes down to a value judgment- whose approval do I deem to be of more value? I might lose the respect and acceptance of my peers because I don't spend my nights the same way they do. My rationale for that might seem foolish or narrow-minded. But I want to be more like Christ, not like them. In the end, my peers and friends won't even be around to accept or reject me. 

But God will. 
That's why I choose to follow Christ. His work on the cross guarantees His acceptance of me. If others' acceptance of me is based on my performance, I'll fail every time. How much more will I fail if God's acceptance of me is based on me?
But praise the Lord it's not. Christ obeyed perfectly, even though I don't. I know for certain God sees Christ's righteousness when He looks at me, and that's all the satisfaction I need.
This weekend was a chance to press pause, but also a chance to continue. A chance to continue to be a light in a dark room, a chance to display Christ to those around me. And I got to enjoy myself along the way.

Rain, Lakes, and Memories

I'm driving down Main Street in Nostalgiaville right now. RUF Fall Conference trekked to Windermere Christian Conference Center this weekend- the sight of Ascend Camp waaaayyyy back in the summer of 2012! It's exactly the same as it was 15 months, 9 days ago.

Except for the driving rain and absence of shower-phobic teenagers...

Coming back here, if only for 2 days, reminds me of all the lessons learned, trials endured, and memories made here 2 summers ago. That week was one of the best in my life. The launch of Ascend Camp, I think, spawned some doubt and uncertainty among some as to whether or not it would work out. 

Lemme tell ya, it was a SMASHING success. God was hard at work in people's lives that week- at least He was in mine. To be honest, I learned just as much going throughout my day as I did sitting under the preaching of the Word. Getting to interact with students and leaders from different churches and different states gave me new perspective on how people (besides me) live the Christian life. And everyone knows that getting away for a few days and focusing on fun, fellowship and learning from the Word is perhaps the most refreshing experience for Christians young and old. It drowns out the din of social media and worldly entertainment and allows you to focus on creation and the God who made it. 

If this semester is a novel, this weekend is, at most, a misplaced comma. Insignificant in and of itself, but meaningful in the grander scheme of things. Learning about the Christian meta-narrative and how it affects the Christian worldview has been encouraging thus far, but I'm finding my mind in another place.

I can hardly turn left or right around here without remembering those nights last summer. "Yep- played basketball right here." "Yep- broke a bone right there." " Yep- made a new friend on that bench." It's remarkable how much my life changed here. I hope my life changes a little more this weekend.

It also reminds me of all the friends I made that summer that I'm not around anymore. (Miss you guys, BTW.) We're all a year older now, but part of me feels guilty coming back here without them. 

Thoughts are definitely swirling in this cluttered mind, but one thing ain't goin' nowhere:

I know my Redeemer lives, and no matter how much things change around me, no matter the challenges I face on a daily basis, I know He stays the same, and because He lives in me, He's already conquered those challenges on my behalf. All that's left to do, for my part, is to surrender to Him and let Him conquer through me. That's never easy, but it's ALWAYS  worth it.