Taking a Back Seat

It's been so good to see all my friends again... After 5 LONG weeks at Mizzou, pressing the pause button on college life for a day or two has been brief, but refreshing. Family meals, apple picking, late night conversations, reconnecting- a good recharge to my mental and emotional batteries.
Funny how much things can change in 5 weeks.
When Facebook and the occasional text conversation are all you have to keep up, there's a lot than can slip through the cracks. Some of my friends are exactly the same- just as funny, just as encouraging, and just as, if not more, recklessly devoted to Christ. That's great- TWO THUMBS UP TO Y'ALL.
Others, maybe not so much.
Now I'm not the filter through which my friends should make big life decisions. They shouldn't go around thinking "I better OK my new girlfriend with Ethan" or "let's make sure Ethan approves of my schedule." That would be pretty awesome, but it's not the way it should be.
Nonetheless, living 2 hours away and watching my friends grow up from a distance has taken a big toll on me. I went through middle school and highschool having a vested emotional and spiritual interest in my friends' lives. I was used to having a deep, personal, regular relationship with them, and that's a good thing. Starting over in college with very few friends (none of whom I was close with) was like having part of me taken away, and having to grow it back.
But I have to realize that life goes on. My friends' lives are not dependent on mine. They grow and change just like I do, and in their own way. Not being up close and personal with them is disconcerting and tough, but God has changes that He wants to make in my friends' lives, and I can't expect God to OK their new girlfriends with me. IT'S NOT UP TO ME.
That should be comforting.
If you find yourself restless with the throes and changes in life, remember: it's not up to you. A loving, omniscient God is in charge of people's lives.
A loving, omniscient God is in charge of my friends' lives.
A loving, omniscient God is in charge of MY life.
So coming back and seeing my friends grow up, admittedly, was tough. But cool at the same time. I can't wait to see how God will work in their lives- and mine.

Angst... Is That a Word?

There are SO. Many. Things. to worry about in college. Tests. Projects. Presentations. Having time to eat dinner. Eating too much dinner. Waking up on time. Going to bed too late. Gaining the Freshman 15 (or the Mizzou 22, as Tigers call it). Making friends.

Sometimes, all those worries hit me at once. And lemme tell ya, that's not so fun.
But somehow, everything turns out alright after all these things happen. So, why worry in the first place?

Because it's convenient. 
Convenient?
Yes.
Worry is a convenient way to get our feelings out in the moment. And it works sometimes- for about 5 minutes, and then I start to worry again.
And usually, worrying about something before it happens doesn't change the event at all. It happens just as if I hadn't worried about it.
So not only are we as Christians commanded NOT to worry (Philippians 4:6-7. Look it up. Good verse.), but worrying often has no impact on your situation at all, except to create more worry.
Getting over the sin of worry is definitely a challenge, but Philippians 4 provides the solution; "through prayer and supplication make your requests known to God."
God has complete and utter control over our circumstances. That fact ALONE should eliminate our inclination to worry about the stresses and concerns of this life.

Maybe I'll try that this week.

Subtweets

I wish I was chicken enough to subtweet. 

My Twitter feed is now flooded with people making vague statements about life. They're directed at individuals, but I usually can't tell who it is (unless it's glaringly obvious). Things like "I trusted you and this is what you do to me?" or, "I'm standing here, waiting, and you can't bother to look my way." Catch my drift?

Good. Now I can rant about them.

I think subtweets are nothing short of relational cowardice. If you subtweet, don't. Afford the other person the opportunity to find out how you feel from YOU, not your Facebook status.

Ok, I'm done.

Wait, no I'm not.

Aren't our minds constantly swimming with subtweets? We're constantly thinking things about other people that we wouldn't say to their face. We're sinful. It's what we do.

Now I'm not saying we should TELL someone we hate them. We shouldn't hate them at all. The problem lies not with how we tell people our thoughts, but with what we think of people in the first place. I struggle with this every day. A million little things impact what I think of someone, how I treat them.

Our thoughts are the most potent way in which the devil attacks us, because sin of the mind is the easiest to conceal and thus the hardest to overcome. 

Colossians 3:1-2 tells us to "set our minds on things above, where Christ is." 

That, I think, is the cure for the Subtweeting Syndrome. Set your mind on Christ- don't occupy it with what you think are other people's problems. 

Ironically, that's also the sure fire way to overcome sin of the mind. Where Christ is, sin cannot be. Pretty sure your mind counts for that, too.

Parents...Are They Avoiding Me?

I get the sneaking suspicion that my parents are having fun without me at home. Hey, guys- I'm the baby, remember? You're supposed to be bawling your eyes out because I'm all grown up and gone! I know of times where I've called my dad, and he has, on purpose, not picked up.  I've asked him for advice, and he's simply said "do what you think is right" or "I'm going to leave that one up to you."

I think most parents today would consider that cruel and unusual.

I wouldn't have it any other way
I have no interest in being cottled and guided through my college years. If college is supposed to be a time to become who you're going to be for the rest of your life, then I want to be in charge of that. Now don't get me wrong- I don't hate my parents. I have the utmost respect for them and love them dearly. But if parents are dead set on being as integral in their kids' lives in college as they were in years 0-18, then their kids will never grow up. It's time for me to learn how to make my own decisions- after all, that's what I'm going to be doing for the rest of my life. Years 0-18, I had to rely on my parents. If I continue to rely completely on my parents throughout my adult life, that greatly decreases the ability of others to rely on me. There's something to be said for adults who can stand their own and provide for others. More often than not, you'll find, I think, that their parents allowed them to grow up on their own.

So Mom and Dad-
Thanks or 18 years of training. I look forward to taking the training wheels off with you.

Challenges

Perhaps the most difficult challenge I've faced on campus so far is finding trustworthy friends who care for me. When I first moved in, I knew probably one person on campus- and they weren't even a student. Most of the people on my floor had their circle of friends from high school who all came to Mizzou, and they were hunky-Dory.

Me, not so much,

Making friends has been a challenge. I was not very proactive about making friends for awhile- but I soon found out that a college experience without friends is like a finger without a fingernail- functional, but really no fun.

Ok, bad analogy. But it makes sense, right?

Anyways, as it turns out, I know more people here than I thought I did. And to put a nice big cherry on top of that sundae, they know Jesus. What an encouragement! I've gotten to spend a little time with them, and those times have been the most enjoyable of my experience so far. I've also made some friends at RUF (BTW kudos to the upper classpeople who hang out with freshmen like me). 

All to say this:

God placed a challenge in my path. Coming to college, He took away my social circle. This, in turn, has forced me to step outside my comfort zone and make new friends. By doing this, I have learned two things:

1. Trusting God with the outcome of a situation is the most sensible thing to do. EVER. PERIOD. God knows what He's doing, even when it doesn't seem like it. Maybe there's something to be said for letting Jesus Take the Wheel...

2. There are so many opportunities that await you- if you only go looking for them. Adventure, challenge, success, growth- VERY rarely do they all converge in one place, and even more rarely do they come and find you. Stepping beyond your area of normalcy and taking a leap of faith is not only necessary sometimes- it can also be healthy for you.

So take comfort in what He's doing in your life- after all...

He knows your name

He knows your every thought

He sees each tear that falls

And hears you when you call

How can I help but trust a God like that?

Here Goes Nothing

So,

It's 12:55 AM in the 3rd floor lounge in North Hall on the University of Missouri- Columbia campus. What, might you ask, inspired this sleep-deprived freshman to start a blog? 

My honest answer?

I have no earthly idea. 

I've read and followed many blogs before, and the authors of each, it seemed, had found a great medium through which to reveal God's work in and through their life. That, I hope, is what comes of this little project.

So here's to many posts, many readers, and many encouraged hearts and minds.
-Ethan