Coming into college, I didn't know many people. Not many at Mizzou knew who I was or what I was like. They didn't accept me, they didn't reject me. They seemed indifferent.
Everyone wants to feel accepted. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone has a desire to know that no matter what, someone else approves of them. It validates our everyday lives. For Christians, we find that acceptance, that love, that approval in God the Father through the finished work of Christ. Because I didn't know anyone that would approve of me, I quickly turned to Christ because I knew He would always accept me because of His sacrifice for me.
But then I began to meet and get to know people. I got to know their patterns, their passions, and their pet peeves. And slowly but surely, I made an emotional investment in their acceptance. I began to value what they thought of me more than what God thought of me. EVERYBODY has struggled with this, but me foremost. It's just so tangible.
The fundamental struggle of the Christian life is faith. We are asked to take God at His word. We can't see Him, we can't touch Him, we can't hear Him, and we are asked to value His acceptance above all others'. Try convincing me that's not hard. When there are tangible people around us waiting to accept us, that's tough to rebuff because their acceptance is familiar to us and Christ's is not.
Gradually, I learned what it took to gain the approval of certain people. It required me to be a certain person. I had to like certain types of music, use a certain vocabulary, have certain social habits, act a certain way. And that's what I began to do. I would become a certain person to please one friend, then I would take off that mask and don another one in order to be accepted by another friend.
It's like I just couldn't decide.
Worst of all is the temptation to do that when romantic relationships are at stake. When that occurs, it does, as they say, "get real." As a young man, the only thing more meaningful than a guy's approval is a girl's, especially for single guys (like me). Once you get to know a young woman and find out what kind of man she's looking for, it's very easy to conform yourself to that mold in order to win her. For lost young men, there's not much wrong with this. But for young Christian men, there is, especially when the type of guy your romantic interest is looking for may not be the most morally laudable.
I still struggle with this now. I must learn to find my approval in Christ alone. Ultimately, He is the only one who will judge me at the end of time, not anyone else- not the guys I watch football with, not my roommates, not the girl I really like. I still must put in effort to maintain good relationships with those people and reach them for Christ, but His approval is supreme.
I value my friends. I value what they think. I want them to like me- there's nothing wrong with that. If they accept me for who I am (as a Christian young man), fantastic. But when that clashes with what God thinks of me,
I've made my decision.
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